They surprised me by moving to North Carolina after my dad retired. I liked North Carolina well enough, but Ithaca was home and I’d been my job for a few years. My parents thought about selling our house, but when my apartment building decided to go condo and I couldn’t afford it, they offered to rent it to me. My situation was pretty much ideal. I had a great house at a low rent, a girlfriend, a decent job and friends to hang with in my free time. The first crack in all of that was losing my job. Soon after that, my girlfriend, Penny, and I started arguing a lot. I noticed a passive-aggressive streak in her I hadn’t before. It started to drive me crazy. I needed to go somewhere else for a while, just for a change. I wasn’t sure what to do until one day I got call from Manny, whom I’d known since high school. He’d gone out to California right after we graduated from Ithaca College and said he wasn’t coming back east of the Mississippi even if his dad died. So far he’d stuck to his. And I'll get whatever respect I earn. It won't be based on how I address them. I can't demand respect, at least not for myself. I have to earn that." But you can't be effective if they don't respect you," said Cecelia."True, but I also can't force them to learn. I have to make them want to learn. And once they get that ... once they understand that I — or you — have helped them find the ability to be productively curious, respect just follows." If you say so." Cecelia sounded doubtful."Tell you what," said Bob. "You call them by their first names, and I'll call them by their last. We'll see if it makes any difference."But we need to display a common front," said Cecelia."Says who?" Bob smiled. "People are different. They have different tastes and understandings. There's nothing wrong with kids seeing adults agreeing to disagree. It's even better if they hear both sides of an issue and have to think about it to make up their own minds about what to believe."The days continued and the.
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